These are the people in my neighborhood
Dec. 31st, 2006 11:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bronwynrhWe'll ignore, for now, the Clampetts who live one door down on our left (after the empty lot) in a ridiculously huge and tacky white brick house.
We'll also ignore, for now, the We're Specials who live two doors down on our right, at the end of an against-restrictions gravel drive, and who walk their dogs on the not-public course along the back of our not-public house and through our also not-public yard.
No, tonight, we'll talk about the Whacky Paranoids, who live across the street from us. Their approximately 5000W of home and garden lighting fill our master suite, entry hall, dining room, great room, and my office with light. All. Night. Long. That's annoying enough, seeing as how I appreciate the DARK when trying to sleep.
Tonight takes the cake, though. The Whacky Paranoids, who protect their home with a handful of vicious concrete saints, also have a burglar alarm which announced itself 'round midnight with a wailing siren and a stern voice who said (I have it memorized, as I heard it 50 times before it stopped):
WARNING! WARNING! You have violated an area that is protected by . . . a security system. Leave immediately!
There really was a pause in there, Shatner-fashion.
Claxons, claxons and more claxons, followed by that polite but insistent message, in triplicate. Repeat for 15 minutes.
After 5 minutes, I called the police, who knew about the alarm and were sending a car out. The policeman just left, and I must say I hope they respond a little more quickly when the emergency is more. . . emergent, because if I'm being murderated, I'd like to know the cops will be at my door in something LESS than 20 minutes.
Maybe that's just me, though.
It's a shame the nincompoops weren't home for the excitement, or I'd have been at their front door, in my bathrobe, ready to tell them how stupid they are and to thank them for sharing their stupidity with all the surrounding neighborhoods.
I also hope that my soon-to-be weejun sleeps through such things, although I may have fun toting his screaming little body over there to ask them to settle him back down after so rudely waking him up with their lights and their saints and their Shatner wanna-be house alarm.
Happy New Year!
We'll also ignore, for now, the We're Specials who live two doors down on our right, at the end of an against-restrictions gravel drive, and who walk their dogs on the not-public course along the back of our not-public house and through our also not-public yard.
No, tonight, we'll talk about the Whacky Paranoids, who live across the street from us. Their approximately 5000W of home and garden lighting fill our master suite, entry hall, dining room, great room, and my office with light. All. Night. Long. That's annoying enough, seeing as how I appreciate the DARK when trying to sleep.
Tonight takes the cake, though. The Whacky Paranoids, who protect their home with a handful of vicious concrete saints, also have a burglar alarm which announced itself 'round midnight with a wailing siren and a stern voice who said (I have it memorized, as I heard it 50 times before it stopped):
WARNING! WARNING! You have violated an area that is protected by . . . a security system. Leave immediately!
There really was a pause in there, Shatner-fashion.
Claxons, claxons and more claxons, followed by that polite but insistent message, in triplicate. Repeat for 15 minutes.
After 5 minutes, I called the police, who knew about the alarm and were sending a car out. The policeman just left, and I must say I hope they respond a little more quickly when the emergency is more. . . emergent, because if I'm being murderated, I'd like to know the cops will be at my door in something LESS than 20 minutes.
Maybe that's just me, though.
It's a shame the nincompoops weren't home for the excitement, or I'd have been at their front door, in my bathrobe, ready to tell them how stupid they are and to thank them for sharing their stupidity with all the surrounding neighborhoods.
I also hope that my soon-to-be weejun sleeps through such things, although I may have fun toting his screaming little body over there to ask them to settle him back down after so rudely waking him up with their lights and their saints and their Shatner wanna-be house alarm.
Happy New Year!
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(no subject)
Date: January 1st, 2007 12:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: January 1st, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC)Set phasers to kill!
Happy new year, all the same, though! *hugs*
You know... since it's the new year and all, I have a confession... I still have your wedding present here - well part of it - because I was working on a nifty cross-stitch, and then I messed up the pattern by a row, and... well... you know how those things go. So, um... I'll send it, eventually, and you can rest assured that someday, you'll get a random present in the mail! :D
(no subject)
Date: January 1st, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)Otherwise, take his screaming body over there.
(no subject)
Date: January 2nd, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)The had a party when I had a 4 week old baby. Loud bangy fireworks, yelling, breaking bottles etc.....
kadison wakes at 5am just as they had all gone to bed....
I got a really loud stereo.... REALLY big speakers.
I put them outside.....
Nothing says FUCK YOU like Mariah Carey SCREAMING at 5am :o)
I'm a good person :0)