I'm fine, really
May. 29th, 2004 12:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bronwynrhThat news just tweaked my "Goddammit!!!" button.
I'm in the lab, working busily and making progress on the one aspect of my To-Do list over which I actually have some control.
Ok, so I have control over the writing of my thesis too, but I seem to have lost my muse - or am lacking data. See demons, mentioned on 5/26.
*ah-choo!* *ah-choo!*
Where'd that come from? Excuse me while I shake those off.
I'm feeling pretty drowsy, and wishing I could take a nap. I haven't slept well in weeks because my sick and twisted unconscious mind likes to fuck with me all night long. And I don't mean in a good way. I've dreamed all sorts of surreal weirdness. Let's see, there was the one where I was at some sort of meeting or convention and there were people trying to kill me. Every time a group of friends would spot me, they'd call out, "Bronwyn! Over here! Come join us!" and I'd shush them and duck and try to get away before They spotted me. It ended with a weird movie-worthy chase through lovely, close-in wooden stairwells and unresponsive elevators.
Then there was the one where my mom and I (sorry to drag you into this mom) were the last two people left behind in the remains of a - get this - concentration camp kind of place. Apparently, our location was at the end of a long road, so no one bothered to go all the way down to find us. We had a bag of rice and raisins to eat - I tore it open and spilled it on the ground to see what we had left. Reallly, they weren't bugs, they were raisins in uncooked rice. Maybe that was my Raisin Bran talking to me from the kitchen.
Of course there was the memorable dream several weeks ago. I was being held in this white place, in an empty white room with nothing but a computer and my captors wanted my data. Hmmmm, wonder what that could have come from?
There are plenty more, but I don't remember them as well. I haven't had a good, rousing, realistic, someone's breaking into my house dream in over a month. Those are the real doozies that make me wake up paralyzed and in breathless fear and confusion. Fun stuff.
Ok, so I wish I had something worthwhile to say, but like I've said before, why repeat myself? At least I find ways to keep in touch with my friends here - you are my prime procrastination tool. I may sound like I'm in a foul mood, and I assure you I'm not. I am under a lot of stress and I am in love and I am lonely and I am impatient and I am impotent to solve many of my worries in any way at all. And the rest, I just do what I can. Sometimes I can do my best, other times, not so much.
As if none of you have ever been there. I'm not that special :-D
Time to wrap up this little round of benchwork and head out to run errands. I'm going to be good and take the computer home with me.
We'll see if I'm good enough to actually WORK once I get there.
I'm in the lab, working busily and making progress on the one aspect of my To-Do list over which I actually have some control.
Ok, so I have control over the writing of my thesis too, but I seem to have lost my muse - or am lacking data. See demons, mentioned on 5/26.
*ah-choo!* *ah-choo!*
Where'd that come from? Excuse me while I shake those off.
I'm feeling pretty drowsy, and wishing I could take a nap. I haven't slept well in weeks because my sick and twisted unconscious mind likes to fuck with me all night long. And I don't mean in a good way. I've dreamed all sorts of surreal weirdness. Let's see, there was the one where I was at some sort of meeting or convention and there were people trying to kill me. Every time a group of friends would spot me, they'd call out, "Bronwyn! Over here! Come join us!" and I'd shush them and duck and try to get away before They spotted me. It ended with a weird movie-worthy chase through lovely, close-in wooden stairwells and unresponsive elevators.
Then there was the one where my mom and I (sorry to drag you into this mom) were the last two people left behind in the remains of a - get this - concentration camp kind of place. Apparently, our location was at the end of a long road, so no one bothered to go all the way down to find us. We had a bag of rice and raisins to eat - I tore it open and spilled it on the ground to see what we had left. Reallly, they weren't bugs, they were raisins in uncooked rice. Maybe that was my Raisin Bran talking to me from the kitchen.
Of course there was the memorable dream several weeks ago. I was being held in this white place, in an empty white room with nothing but a computer and my captors wanted my data. Hmmmm, wonder what that could have come from?
There are plenty more, but I don't remember them as well. I haven't had a good, rousing, realistic, someone's breaking into my house dream in over a month. Those are the real doozies that make me wake up paralyzed and in breathless fear and confusion. Fun stuff.
Ok, so I wish I had something worthwhile to say, but like I've said before, why repeat myself? At least I find ways to keep in touch with my friends here - you are my prime procrastination tool. I may sound like I'm in a foul mood, and I assure you I'm not. I am under a lot of stress and I am in love and I am lonely and I am impatient and I am impotent to solve many of my worries in any way at all. And the rest, I just do what I can. Sometimes I can do my best, other times, not so much.
As if none of you have ever been there. I'm not that special :-D
Time to wrap up this little round of benchwork and head out to run errands. I'm going to be good and take the computer home with me.
We'll see if I'm good enough to actually WORK once I get there.
