I just couldn't take it anymore.

[bronwynrh]

At heart, I am a mouthy bitch.
Please, restrain your gasps of shock.

This morning, Loud Man got on the bus with me and a few of my neighbors. Loud Man is, as I'm sure you can tell by now, Loud. He is also chatty. For those of you who know her, imagine Evelyn - only shouting.

I've ridden the bus with Loud Man many times before. He hollers halfway back the bus to talk to (I'm sorry, yell at) Randy about the high school game on the radio last night. He yells about politics and religion (together, no less!) and shouts things like, "RULES WITH AN IRON HAND" and "BLADDER CONTROL" and "CRAP HIT THE FAN". He shouts about his plans to go to the library (really? They let you in there?) to read up on POLITICS and RELIGION. He teases Randy, but calls him Jeffrey (the bus driver's name). He holds on the pole and leeeeeeans into the guy two seats away so he can better be heard. He asks polite questions and then shouts about SOMETHING RANDOM before the questioned can answer. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that, during the entire 17 minute journey, he was silent for no longer than 1.5 seconds at a time. Four times.

This morning, I got fed up. It's just too damned early for being shouted at - or near.

So, as I left the bus and passed by him, I paused and said (in my polite, indoor-but-fully-audible voice), "You really need to learn how to use your indoor voice." And down I stepped.

He looked surprised, and I heard him say something, but I was already off the bus. We'll see if he shouts something to me when next we're at the bus stop.

Dave, how was that? Not bitchy enough?

/ps. Like my Kiss My Butt icon? She mowed three times in the past 6 days. So weird.

Comments

[corto.livejournal.com]

when I was bus-guy... day in, day out... hour and bit commute... I had the occasion to face a very similar circumstance and ... I wore ear beads on a radio... and he still drove me nuts.

I stood up one day, while we were still in the community (before hitting the transitway that takes you downtown), turned around, and yelled at him in my Out Door Voice... "YOU HAVE GOT TO SHUT UP... YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH ALL YOUR YELLING." and then about fifteen people started to applaud. He totally took the hint.

[bramey.livejournal.com]

I figure that'll be his third warning.

I think my second warning will be while we're still on the bus - I'll say, "Why don't we play the quiet game?"

I'll be nice first, then sarcastic, then I'll yell at him.

[thatthingido.livejournal.com]

"Why don't we play the quiet game?"

I like. It doesn't work as well on children as one would hope even though it's childish in nature. Maybe it will work on a grown man.

Is the man mentally ill or just an asshole?

[bramey.livejournal.com]

If we took the book by its cover, so to speak, I'd say he was somewhat "challenged". He wears clunky black shoes with no laces - so the tongues just sort of flap about, and the side of the shoes stick straight up. His pants are always a bit tattered and VERY saggy in all the wrong places, and his shirts are all in some stage of disrepair.

So either he has no sense of how one dresses for work, or his elevator doesn't go all the way up.

When he opens his mouth, he has a drawl that hints of "challenged", but he talks about cases of law and general observations as though he was not. He sounds ignorant and stupid, yes, but not "challenged" or "ill" in the clinical respect.

I think he and two men he was yelling to go to the same church, judging by context and the fact that they both put up with him.

I think he's just one of the many people around here who are completely lacking in social skills. It must be something in the water :)

ps - I was such a prideful child, and I so hated to lose, that I was always suckered into playing the quiet game, and played to win. See, I wasn't always so brilliant.

[thatthingido.livejournal.com]

I was such a prideful child, and I so hated to lose, that I was always suckered into playing the quiet game, and played to win. See, I wasn't always so brilliant.

*grin*
I can't imagine that you were a loud child. Easily manipulated by adults wanting quiet, maybe.

[bramey.livejournal.com]

I wasn't loud, no, but I was very talkative. My nickname was "Miss Chatterbox".

[rozsdan.livejournal.com]

I would hit him with, " You know less about what you are talking about than my dog!", line. That seems to confuse people into silence. "You REALLY like the sound of YOUR OWN VOICE!", seems to work well too.

[bramey.livejournal.com]

Nice. I like that.

[kendokamel.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!

You know what that reminded me of? That SNL Weekend Update sketch where Will Farrell was making fun of some guy in the news who had that vocal modulation dysfunction (or whatever it's called), where the ONLY volume he had was loud.

Though... it seems from your description that this guy can modulate, so I'm all for the sarcasm.

Hmmm... it also reminds me of a somewhat related For Better or For Worse strip several years back - when Michael and his wife were out at a fancy restaurant, and some person at the next table was speaking loudly and obnoxiously into a mobile phone. He silently picks up a dinner roll, grabs the olive and toothpick from his martini and sticks them in the top, and then pretends it's a phone... shouting, "HELLO? Yeah! I'm in this fancy restaurant having a NICE QUIET DINNER with my wife! ...What? Oh, hold on!" Then, he turns to the loud jerk, hands him the dinner roll, and says, "It's for you!" (While the entire restaurant laughs.)

[bramey.livejournal.com]

The SNL skit. . . that's this guy, definitely.

[thatthingido.livejournal.com]

For Better or For Worse is great (and Canadian). I didn't read that one but that's great.