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I got to talk with my dearest friend Hadley last night. Hadley-Bronwyn, as she's called, between the two of us, as we consider ourselves cosmic soul-twins.
She reminded me what we were taught about how people deal with loss: Doubt, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I don't know if I buy all of it, but being very far away from somebody you care about can make it very hard to make their death feel real.
Anger? Yeah, I'm right there with the anger, boy. Am I ever angry. So. Angry. Honestly, there just aren't words for how angry I am. Wesley was just 21 years old. He'd already survived leukemia. Had reached his benchmark remission year. And then, last February, he started having bad headaches and disorientation and vision changes - a brain tumor. Anger doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.
I may move on to the other stages eventually, as I sort of did when my 14 year old cousin was killed by a drunk driver almost 20 years ago. But the anger can always be revitalized, it seems, and the acceptance is never complete. I don't ever want to accept these deaths because they simply are not acceptable.
I'll move on and get on with my life, doing the things I need and want to do simply because that's what I have to do to live my life and make my own life worth living, worth remembering. Just as Wes and Greg left their impressions on me, I want to make some positive impression on the people and world around me. That's always been my purpose, my goal.
She reminded me what we were taught about how people deal with loss: Doubt, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I don't know if I buy all of it, but being very far away from somebody you care about can make it very hard to make their death feel real.
Anger? Yeah, I'm right there with the anger, boy. Am I ever angry. So. Angry. Honestly, there just aren't words for how angry I am. Wesley was just 21 years old. He'd already survived leukemia. Had reached his benchmark remission year. And then, last February, he started having bad headaches and disorientation and vision changes - a brain tumor. Anger doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.
I may move on to the other stages eventually, as I sort of did when my 14 year old cousin was killed by a drunk driver almost 20 years ago. But the anger can always be revitalized, it seems, and the acceptance is never complete. I don't ever want to accept these deaths because they simply are not acceptable.
I'll move on and get on with my life, doing the things I need and want to do simply because that's what I have to do to live my life and make my own life worth living, worth remembering. Just as Wes and Greg left their impressions on me, I want to make some positive impression on the people and world around me. That's always been my purpose, my goal.
